How to Master Fastest Pour
TLDR: Fastest Pour runs four criss-crossing tubes from the top of the screen to a finish line, each fed by a liquid with its own speed · water 8, juice 7, oil 6, honey 5. Time equals path length divided by speed, and the tubes are NOT the same length. The generator balances the paths so each substance wins about equally often overall, so you have to actually count the length and divide.
The one formula
time = path length ÷ speed. Lower time reaches the bottom first.
Length is easy to read once you know what to count. Each tube runs down through a number of levels. A level the tube drops straight through is short. A level where the tube slides sideways to another column is longer, and a slide across two or three columns is much longer again.
Count diagonals, not tubes: every tube crosses the same number of levels, so they only differ in how many of those levels are sideways moves, and how wide each move is. Count the diagonals in each tube and how far each one travels. A tube with four wide diagonals is far longer than one that drops straight, and that difference is what beats the speed factor.
Why “just take the water” stops working
On any tier the substances are balanced · water at 8 down to honey at 5 · and the weave varies in depth, so a straighter tube easily overcomes a small speed disadvantage. Taking the fastest liquid blindly will fail, as all four liquids win in roughly equal measure across games.
Climb, and three things change together. The liquids get closer in speed. The weave gets deeper, so paths differ more. And the harder tiers deliberately serve rounds where neither the fastest liquid nor the shortest path wins.
The two shortcuts are both traps, and they are traps at different tiers. “Take the fastest liquid” is balanced by path detours so every liquid wins around 25% of the time. “Take the shortest tube” is no better · it often loses if the fastest liquid has an almost direct path. On the top tiers the winner is decided by exact proportion, and only the division finds it.
Estimating without exact arithmetic
You rarely need precise numbers.
Compare in pairs, not all at once. Take the two tubes that look most likely and compare only those. Four-way comparison is where people lose track; two-way is one division.
Use ratios, not lengths. If one tube is about half again as long as another and its liquid is twice as fast, it wins. You never need the actual unit count · you need whether the length ratio beats the speed ratio.
Do not discard honey automatically. Honey at speed 5 needs only a slightly shorter path to win against water at 8, and statistically it wins just as often as the other liquids. Check whether its tube drops straight before you discard it · on a deep weave with detours on the other lanes, honey takes the crown.
Reading the reveal
The reveal ranks every tube with its length, its speed and its time. Those are the same integers the generator used to decide the race, so the numbers you see are the numbers that decided it · nothing is rounded for display.
Caution · a round is never a tie. Lengths are quantised to whole units and the generator rejects any board without a clear winner, with a margin that tightens as difficulty rises. So if two tubes look identical to you, they are not · look again for the diagonal you missed.
A practice path
Phase 1 · the formula. Easy tier. Say “length over speed” for the two leading tubes before you pick. Goal: build the habit while the shortcut still works.
Phase 2 · count diagonals. Medium tier. Count the sideways moves in each tube before looking at the liquids. Goal: read length by eye.
Phase 3 · beat both shortcuts. Hard tier. Notice the rounds where neither the fastest liquid nor the shortest tube wins. Goal: meet the rounds the ramp was built for.
Phase 4 · pairs and ratios. Hardest tier. Narrow to two tubes, compare ratios. Goal: decide quickly with a tight margin.
The mastery metric
You have mastered Fastest Pour when you count the diagonals before you read the liquids, compare two tubes as a ratio rather than four as a list, and the water tube on a long winding path no longer pulls your finger.
Fastest Pour
Water, oil, honey and juice race down criss-crossing tubes · predict which pour reaches the bottom first, then watch the race
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